Memories are not silence: the trauma of witnessing and art making. A Phenomenological exploration of my lived experience as an artist.

This research investigates formative and definitive lived experiences as two narrative forms - art works and writing. The research seeks to uncover the essential features of these experiences (dominated as they are by my experiences of AIDS and the after effects of war) and bring the two narratives together as a reflexive and reflective dialogue. The 'lens' of my art practice (both written and visual) is predominantly that of a landscape painter -be it 'landscape of faces' (portraits), landscapes of the human form (figurative) or the more traditional descriptions of landscape (especially deserts). Phenomenological research is a particular mode of describing and understanding the contours of lived experience. By a process of self-reflection and critical analysis this research explores various understandings of landscape so as to uncover their structure and meaning and to come to a deeper understanding of how those elements influence my art making.